Jay & Dave: A Lesson In Reconciliation?

Some of you may know I used to work in television. (I know, you’re thinking: With that face? But it’s true.) I was a TV news reporter for channel 8 in Grand Rapids for several years. I remember many years ago, on Christmas day, watching our 6 o’clock news. The anchor, who was Catholic, and who I believe had gone to Catholic schools all his life – grade school, high school and college – began the newscast by saying something like: Today is Christmas, the day the birth of Jesus is celebrated by Protestants and Christians. What?

Now we might laugh at that today, but when you think about it, it’s kind of sad. Remember, this was many years ago, so perhaps that anchor, who is no longer in Grand Rapids, has changed his perspective during that time. But obviously he learned, presumably in church and in school, that Catholics are the only true Christians. Protestants? Well, they used to be Christians, but then, in the 1500s, they left the one true church. That kind of thinking apparently happens the other way around as well.

Last Sunday morning about 7:30 I turned on the TV. I wanted to see what religious programs are on at that hour. I came across one with, I assume, a protestant preacher. He said that Jerusalem was the spiritual home of four faith traditions. Four? I’d always heard it was three – people who call themselves Jewish, Muslim and Christian. Who was the fourth one? I wondered. He said it was people who call themselves Jewish, Muslim, Protestant and Catholic. What?

He was dividing up Christians into Protestants and Catholics, presumably because he figured it was all right to lump all Protestants together into the Christian church, even though many Protestants seem to believe that only their particular denomination, and maybe only their individual church congregation is truly Christian. And Catholics? Why, everybody knows they’re just a cult, right? (Yeah right.) A 2,000 year old “cult” that traces its roots back to Jesus’ disciple, Peter. Maybe the best thing to do when we see these theological disputes is just to laugh them off. Sometimes that's easy to do.

A year or so ago a Protestant church and a Catholic church in Kentucky had dueling church signs. Maybe you saw this. The sign in front of the Catholic church said: All dogs go to heaven. Then the Protestant church across the street put up a sign that said: Only humans go to heaven – read the Bible. The Catholics responded with: God loves all his creations – dogs included. The Protestants fired back: Dogs don’t have souls – this is not open for debate. The Catholics shot back: Catholic dogs go to heaven – Protestant dogs can talk to their pastor. The Protestants countered: Converting to Catholicism does not magically grant your dog a soul. The Catholics replied: Free dog souls with conversion. The Protestants reacted: Dogs are animals – there aren’t any rocks in heaven either. The debate ended when the Catholics put up a sign that said: All rocks go to heaven.

Now that would be even funnier if it wasn’t so sad. Forget about negotiating a peace agreement between Israel and Egypt. Maybe Jimmy Carter should go to Kentucky and see if he can achieve peace between two churches, one Protestant and the other Catholic. If so, maybe he’d win another Nobel Peace prize. If only religious people could learn from a couple of comedians.

Did you see the Super Bowl a couple weeks ago? The Indianapolis Colts were heavily favored to win against the New Orleans Saints. But as you probably know the Saints beat the Colts. Perhaps some people saw that as a miracle. Maybe. But I think an even greater miracle that night was when David Letterman and Jay Leno appeared together in a TV commercial. The commercial was actually a promo for David Letterman’s The Late Show. If you didn’t see it, David Letterman was at one end of a couch, Jay Leno was at the other end and Oprah Winfrey was in the middle. It wasn’t special effects; it really happened. Dave says, “This is the worst Super Bowl party ever.” Oprah says, “Now Dave, be nice.” Jay says, “Oh he’s just saying that ‘cause I’m here.” Then Dave mocks Jay in a high-pitched voice, “Oh he’s just saying that ‘cause I’m here.” Jay sighs. Oprah throws up her hands in exasperation.

It was brilliant. It had comedy. It had tragedy. It had Oprah Winfrey. What more could you ask for? And all this happened within a 15 second promo.

After the Super Bowl promo aired, Jay said of Dave, “He was very gracious. We talked about the old days. We told some jokes. It was really good to see him.” He added, “whatever happened [between us] in the last 18 years disappeared.” I watched Dave the night after the Super Bowl. He downplayed the whole thing for comedic effect. He said, “Weren’t the actors who played Oprah and Jay great?”

I read an interview with Rob Burnett, David Letterman’s Executive Producer, about the promo shoot. David Letterman was given 15 seconds during the Super Bowl, which aired on CBS, to do a promo for his show, which also airs on CBS. Dave wrote it himself. Then Dave’s people got a hold of Oprah and Jay’s people and asked if they would be willing to do it. Oprah said yes and Jay jumped at the chance.

Let’s examine what happened to bring Jay and Dave together, to bring about, apparently, reconciliation. Maybe other people can follow the same steps and bring about reconciliation in their lives if they’re estranged from a co-worker, a friend or a relative. Maybe you and I can follow the same steps and bring about reconciliation in our lives if we need to.

The first thing Dave did apparently was to forgive Jay. As you probably know, Dave had been angry with Jay for almost 20 years, because Jay had been chosen by NBC to take the place of Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. Dave wanted that job, thought he’d earned that job for hosting Late Night for many years. But of course it went to Jay. So step one was forgiveness. (And I suppose Jay had to forgive Dave for all the nasty comments he’s made about Jay on the air over the years.) Step two was reaching out. Dave invited Jay to come to his studio to record the promo. Step three was the friendliness that Dave showed toward Jay while they were together. As I mentioned, Jay said Dave was very gracious. It really wouldn’t have worked if Dave had just berated Jay from the moment he walked in till the moment he left.

We probably shouldn’t read too much into all this, of course, but it seems to me that if Jay and Dave could get together, maybe there’s hope for the rest of the world. President Obama on one end of a couch and Dick Cheney on the other. Bill O’Reilly on one end of a couch and Keith Olberman on the other. Glenn Beck on one end of a couch and Rachel Maddow on the other. And it all begins with forgiveness.

According to the Christian New Testament, when Jesus was hanging from the cross, dying, he looked at those who put him there and said to God, “Forgive them for they don’t know what they’re doing.” How could that be? How could they not know what they’re doing? Didn’t they yell, “Crucify him! Crucify him!”? Didn't they hammer nails into his body? Jesus knew all that, but he apparently knew something else as well.

I heard someplace once that if we really knew what we were doing, if we really understood what the ramifications were of what we were doing, we wouldn’t do anything to hurt someone else. If a murderer really knew and understood the impact he would have, not just on the person he killed, but on the person’s family and friends, on the murderer’s own family and friends if he’s caught and sent to prison, and the impact on his own soul, he’d never kill. But he does kill. And you can almost hear Jesus saying to God, “Forgive him, for he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” Other religious figures and faith traditions talk about forgiveness, too, of course.

Gandhi says, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” In other words, vengeance doesn’t work. It just ends up hurting the vengeful person. Mother Teresa says, “If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” I heard once that when we refuse to forgive, when we’re bitter and angry and seek revenge, it’s like taking a dose of poison everyday and expecting the other person to die. It just doesn’t work.

My wife dragged me to the movies the other night. The reason I say it that way is because we went to see the movie, “Avatar.” Avatar is a science fiction film. I don’t like science fiction films. Avatar had war scenes in it. I don’t like movies with war scenes in them. Avatar morphed real human actors into animated figures. I don’t like movies that morph real human actors into animated figures. After saying all that let me quickly add: I loved Avatar. I loved Avatar, because it was a great story. I love great stories. I also love movies with a political message (that’s why I like Michael Moore movies so much). And Avatar definitely had a political message.

It seems clear to me and others that Avatar was all about America’s mistreatment of American Indians. Ignoring or degrading the richness of their spiritual lives. Stealing their land. Killing men, women and children, just because they weren’t white. Will American Indians ever be able to reconcile with America? I don’t know, but I think it’ll take more than being granted the right to make money off casinos.

Back when Bill Clinton was president, I visited Washington DC with my daughter. We were standing outside the White House about 6:30 at night when Helen Thomas, the longtime White House correspondent, came out, presumably going home for the night. My daughter got Helen Thomas’ autograph. As she was signing her name, Helen Thomas said, “I think President Clinton just solved the conflict in Northern Ireland.” I said, “And I’ll bet he won’t get credit for it either.” She stopped writing, looked right at me and said, “No. The armchair quarterbacks in this town don’t give him credit for anything.”

Now, I tell you that story, not to demonstrate that Helen Thomas and I are both a couple of liberals. (Although when I told that story to her niece, my then colleague, channel 8 anchor Suzanne Geha, she said of her aunt Helen and me, “You two are two peas in a pod.”) I tell you that story to get us to think of the possibilities. If Protestants and Catholics can get together in Northern Ireland (with President Clinton’s help, even if he doesn’t get credit for it), could Jews and Muslims get together in the Middle East? Could Christians and Muslims get together in America? Could Reformed and Christian Reformed churches get together in West Michigan? We started Interfaith Congregation in hopes of bringing people together – Protestants and Catholics, Christians and Jews, Muslims and Hindus, Buddhists and Baha’is.

I’m reminded of John Lennon’s song, “Imagine.” “Imagine all the people, living life in peace.” Yes, imagine that. It’s easy if you try. Well, almost easy.

Tiger Woods apologized Friday morning for his serial adulteries with women across the country. Did you see that? Some say he did it just to try to repair his tarnished image with the public and to make sure the endorsements keep coming, the ones that make him the richest athlete in the world. Perhaps. But he looked serious and sincere to me, especially when he sought forgiveness from his wife, Elin.

Presumably he’s looking for reconciliation with Elin. I’d say he doesn’t stand a chance. But then again, I saw David Letterman reconcile with Jay Leno. Right there on national television. So, maybe anything’s possible.