Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Forgiveness Of Conan

Many years ago, I was a feature reporter for a local TV news program. One day I was doing a story about a guy who was repairing the ceiling of a big Catholic church. We’ll call him John Smith. John Smith was on this rickety old platform, several stories up, repairing the ceiling. I tell you that story to tell you this story. A couple weeks ago I was at the Holland Tulip Time Festival, eating dinner that I bought at one of the vendors; something healthy, like a big old bratwurst sandwich with all the trimmings. A guy comes up to me and says, “Are you Bill Freeman?” Now, I hesitated to answer that, because sometimes I take controversial stands, preach about controversial topics, so I took a quick glance at his hands. He wasn’t carrying a gun or a knife, so I slowly said, “Yes.” He said, “Well I’m John Smith. You did a story about me years ago, repairing the ceiling of a Catholic church.” He said, “You began the story by saying ‘John Smith gets high at work.’” I said, “I’m sorry.” He said, “No, that was fine; I loved it!” Still, I felt like I should seek forgiveness from the god of bad puns.

What does it mean to forgive? How often do we forgive? How often don’t we forgive? When do we or don’t we forgive? I want to talk with you about forgiveness. Human to human forgiveness; not divine forgiveness of humans (for being – what? – human?). I want to talk with you about forgiveness, of others and of ourselves.

On Friday mornings some of you may know I co-host a radio show with Fred Wooden from Fountain Street Church in Grand Rapids. The program is called, “Faith and Reason.” It’s on from 10 till Noon. This past Friday, Fred was all upset. He was angry because Grand Rapids city workers had torn up the street in front of his house to work on some water pipes. Since the water to his house was shutoff, he couldn’t take a shower before he came to the radio station, which would be fine, but he had a funeral to do at 1 o’clock. So he had to leave the radio show early, to go home and take a shower before the funeral, and he was angry about that. He wasn’t sure who to be angry at. He thought the city workers, who put out signs the day before, saying, “No Parking,” could have put notes on people’s doors telling them there water would be shutoff. But he wasn’t sure who to be angry at. He was just angry.

I think the first step toward not forgiving is anger. I think unforgiveness takes three steps: anger and then hatred and then unforgiveness.

Tony Campolo is an evangelical Christian, a preacher, a retired sociology professor at Eastern University in Philadelphia. He spoke this past week in Holland at the Summit on Racism at Hope College. He told of a time years ago when he got two groups together, Buddhists and Christians. He divided them up into theologians and mystics. He put the Buddhist and Christian theologians in one group and the Buddhist and Christian mystics in another group, for four days. At the end of that time, the Christian and Buddhist theologians were arguing with each other, as they had the whole time they were together. “We believe this.” “You believe that! How could you believe that!?” They hated each other. The mystics, who prayed and meditated together for four days, loved each other. They hated to see each other go. Perhaps the moral of the story is that when two or more faith traditions get together, they shouldn’t talk about theology, they should just pray and meditate.

I think the Christian and Buddhist theological types went through the three stages of unforgiveness. There seemed to be some anger between the two groups; perhaps also some hatred; and finally, maybe they even reached the point of unforgiveness. That’s not a good thing. Conan O’Brian seems to know this.

Conan O’Brian was promoted to host The Tonight Show. Jay Leno was promoted to his own prime time program. But the ratings for The Jay Leno Show weren’t very good and the ratings for The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brian weren’t very good, so NBC came up with a compromise. They would pull Jay Leno off the prime time schedule and put him at 11:35 and they would put Conan O’Brian at 12:05. But Conan didn’t want to do The Tonight Show…tomorrow, so he left NBC and he was forbidden from talking about leaving until a couple of weeks ago when he was on 60 Minutes. He talked about his feelings towards Jay Leno and NBC. Surprisingly he said, “You’re going to think this is crazy, but I wish them well.” In other words he, in some form or fashion, forgave the folks at NBC. Now maybe the fact that he walked away with 32 million dollars helped his forgiveness. There is that possibility. But I think he also knew about the importance of forgiveness, something that religious leaders have preached about for millennia.

Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how many times must we forgive? Seven times?” Jesus said, “Seventy-seven times,” or depending on the translation, “Seventy times seven,” which, if my math is correct, is 490 times. Now who can blame Peter for asking the question of Jesus? You’ve got Jesus there. Perhaps you have somebody you have a hard time forgiving. So why not ask Jesus how many times you have to forgive this person? Perhaps he was thinking that Jesus would say, “Well, I said, ‘Turn the other cheek,’ but you only do that once, so you only have to forgive one time.” So maybe Peter thought he was being generous by suggesting seven times. Jesus instead said 490 times. Always and forever essentially, we must forgive. Maybe forgiving somebody is good for us.

The Dalai Lama says, “One’s enemy is the best teacher.” I think that’s true. Now, granted, I could have used fewer teachers over the years, but maybe the Dalai Lama has a point. At the very least, our enemy, if we do it right, will teach us to forgive, if we follow the precepts of Jesus, the Dalai Lama, and others.

Ram Dass, who used to be known as Richard Alpert, was a professor at Harvard, but then he got into Buddhism and Hinduism and became Ram Dass. Many years ago he wrote a book, “Be Here Now.” A very simple title, a very easy to understand point. How can you “be” anyplace other than right here, right now? And yet, when we refuse to forgive, we’re living in some previous time. When we’re not forgiving somebody, we’re living in the past, living in anger. The only way to “be here now” is to forgive back then.

Erich Segal wrote a very popular book a few years ago entitled, “Love Story.” The tag line from “Love Story,” the movie and the book, was, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” I don’t think that’s true. I think love means always having to say you’re sorry. At least, that’s what I have to do in my marriage. “Sorry, honey, I forgot to mow the lawn.” “Sorry, honey, I ate the rest of the chocolate ice cream.” I think love means always having to say you’re sorry, whenever you do something wrong and hope to be forgiven.

I remember two things from my tenth grade art class. One, our art teacher was rather pretty. Two, she had a painting on the wall of two people sinking in quicksand. You could see that there were some vines or something they could grab onto. Instead, they were each clutching clubs, and they were beating each other as they were sinking in the quicksand. How angry must we be with somebody, how much hatred must we have for somebody, how much unforgiveness must be in our heart, not to be able to save ourself at the very least? And to keep beating your opponent to death, literally, as he continues to beat you to death?

One of my favorite actors of all time is James Garner. I loved him when I was a kid and saw him in “Maverick,” I loved him as a young person, when he was in “The Rockford Files.” I loved him in, “The Americanization of Emily,” “Victor Victoria” and others. Many years ago James Garner was interviewed (in Playboy magazine, oh my). He was asked, since he was born in Norman, Oklahoma, whether he was prejudiced against people of color. He said, “No,” which you’d expect him to say. But he also said, “I can’t hate a group of people for any reason. But I can hate individuals real well.” I think I’m the same way.

I don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble if they think the chaplain of Interfaith Congregation should be perfectly pious and love everybody all the time. Sometimes, I admit, I don’t. I’m certainly better than I was years ago before I went into the ministry, but I haven’t yet reached perfection. (And I probably never will.) Sometimes the person I have the hardest time forgiving is myself.

Yesterday my daughter danced her last dance recital. She’s been dancing since she was three years old, for fourteen years. Yesterday watching her up onstage, doing a ballet, tears came to my eyes, because I pictured her at the age of three, when the teacher was off to the side, telling her what steps to take and what moves to make. Now here she was, fourteen years later, grace, beauty and, dare I say it as an “impartial” dad, perfection: Poetry in motion.

I got to thinking about her journey from three to seventeen and how back then she made all kinds of mistakes. But everybody laughed at them, just like we did yesterday when the three year olds were dancing, and it was no big deal. How similar is that to our own spiritual lives, when years ago we made mistakes, we committed what the religious call sins? Sin is just a word for missing the mark. Yet over the years we’ve stopped, hopefully, making those same mistakes. (Maybe we make new mistakes, but we’ve stopped making those same old mistakes.) Just like my daughter wouldn’t hold it against herself, and I certainly wouldn’t hold it against her -how she danced at the age of three, compared to how she danced at the age of seventeen - I don’t think we should hold it against ourselves, the way we were years ago in our spiritual life, compared to how we are now. We still aren't perfect, but hopefully we're better than we were.

The other day I was working on my sermon at JPs coffee shop. Somebody walked into JPs who I thought in the past had treated me unfairly. In a split second, I took those three steps: from anger to hatred to unforgiveness. I sat there thinking: What can I say or do to this person so that I’ll feel superior to him? Should I make some unkind remark? Should I make some nasty hand gesture? But then it dawned on me: I’M WRITING A SERMON ABOUT FORGIVENESS! So as he walked by, I said, “Hello.” Of course, an hour or two later I thought of all kinds of nicer things I could have also said, but maybe the first step on the road to forgiveness is sometimes simply saying, “Hello.”

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Jesus And Other Noisy Leftists

Some of you may know that a few days ago I went before the Holland City Council. I asked the council to pass an ordinance barring discrimination of people because of sexual orientation or gender identity. And I was shocked by a couple of things that happened that night.

First I was shocked that the Holland City Council didn’t laugh me out of the room. Then I was shocked to walk out of the chambers and have a TV reporter, a radio reporter and two newspaper reporters all wanting to talk to me. Perhaps I was most shocked when several of our parishioners who were there that night - who heard me apologize to the council for not knowing exactly how to get an ordinance passed, because I’m a pastor not a politician – and those members of our congregation later were laughing at me for saying that. They said something along the lines of: You might be a pastor, but you’re also a politician. I was shocked, shocked.

Back in 2004 on election night I was at the Wealthy Street Theater in Grand Rapids, along with other Democrats, watching the election returns. I was there till about 2 in the morning and was devastated by the results. So I went home to my apartment, devastated. I got my mail and I opened up a letter. It was from the AARP congratulating me for being eligible to becoming a member of their organization. So it was a double devastation for me: not only did my candidate lose, but I was now old enough to join the AARP.

Okay, maybe I am a politician, but I would rather refer to myself more as a political animal. I love politics. I love watching Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews. I love watching President Obama give a speech. I love the fact that he graduated from Harvard Law School, that he taught constitutional law and that he’s the one who gets to nominate the next Supreme Court justice. So I love politics. I talk about politics on the radio show I do with Fred Wooden from Fountain Street Church. (By the way, the program is called “Faith and Reason” and it’s on Friday mornings from 10 till Noon on 1680-AM, 95.3-FM and online at publicrealityradio.org – a little plug!) Although, rather than say we talk about politics, I prefer to say we talk about justice. Some people might have seen politics in what happened a few weeks ago.

As you may know, Erik Prince was invited to speak at the Holland Tulip Time Festival luncheon. Many people were upset about that, because Erik Prince founded Blackwater, a mercenary army, accused of killing innocent men, women and children in Iraq. So I invited Jeremy Scahill, author of the book “Blackwater," to come to Holland to speak on the same day as Erik Prince. Jeremy accepted, didn’t charge a speaking fee and even paid for his own plane ticket – bless his heart.

In his speech, Erik Prince said he has three main enemies: al-Qaida, the Taliban and noisy leftists. Now I realize what Erik Prince was doing. He was trying to make a joke. Ha, ha, ha – it’s not just al-Qaida and the Taliban that are my enemies, it’s also those noisy leftists – ha, ha, ha! I imagine that Erik Prince would count Jeremy Scahill as one of those noisy leftists and perhaps even me. I’m not sure, though, if I’m a noisy leftist. On some issues, I’m a libertarian. On some issues, I’m a conservative. And on some issues, I’m a Republican.

When it comes to the issue of abortion, I’m a libertarian – I don’t think the government should be involved in a woman’s decision. When it comes to the issue of the environment, I’m a conservative – I want to conserve our streams and rivers and lakes and oceans and earth and air. When it comes to the issue of the budget, I’m a Republican – I believe the government should live within its means, and not just when a Democrat is in the White House, but also when a Republican is in the White House. So I guess on that issue I’m more Republican than some Republicans. But I suppose on most issues I am a noisy leftist. But I think I’m in pretty good company.

Jesus goes up to a mountain, sits down and begins to talk to his disciples and the thousands of people who gathered around. Jesus says, "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” Jesus says, “You have heard that it was said, "An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, Do not resist an evildoer.” Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, "You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, Love your enemies.”

Blessed are the peacemakers? Do not resist an evildoer? Love your enemies? My goodness. Jesus sounds like a noisy leftist. I bet he’d be on Erik Prince’s enemies list. So would Martin Luther King, Jr.

Dr. King says, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.” My goodness. Dr. King sounds like a noisy leftist. I bet he’d be on Erik Prince’s enemies list. So would Gandhi.

Gandhi says, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” My goodness. Gandhi sounds like a noisy leftist. I bet he’d be on Erik Prince’s enemies list.

Is it such a bad thing to be called a noisy leftist, to be on Erik Prince’s enemies list? Or is it a badge of honor? I wonder how many people in Holland would be considered noisy leftists. I wonder how many people in Holland would be on Erik Prince’s enemies list.

The other day I was channel surfing and came across a program on the History Channel. It was called The History of the Earth. The program said that for hundreds of millions of years, the earth has been shifting. Tectonic plates under the earth move. The program said that at one time all the continents of the earth were one. You can sort of see that when you look at how the continent of South America fits into the continent of Africa. The program said that all continents were like that, all continents fit together as one, hundreds of millions of years ago, but because of the shifting of the tectonic plates the continents separated. They say the continents shift like that whenever there is an earthquake or a volcano erupts. So when a volcano erupts in Iceland or an earthquake hits in Haiti, that’s not God expressing anger, that’s the earth shifting.

I got to thinking: Holland is shifting; Holland is becoming more progressive. Now you wouldn’t have known that a couple weeks ago, when the Board of Trustees at Hope College refused to rescind their rules condemning homosexuality. That would not be an example of Holland shifting. But there are several other examples of Holland shifting, of Holland becoming more progressive.

In 2008, Barack Obama won Holland by 200 votes. That’s the first time a Democratic presidential candidate won in Holland since 1964, when President Lyndon Johnson, who took office after the assassination of President Kennedy, won here, probably getting some sympathy votes. So, in 2008, for the first time in 44 years, a Democratic presidential candidate won in Holland. Holland is shifting. Holland is becoming more progressive.

I have an anecdotal example of that from a few months ago. One day I was grocery shopping at Meijer, just down the street. I got to the checkout aisle and saw the usual assortment of supermarket tabloids. One of the tabloids said something like: President Obama is gay. I was laughing. And, the guy in front of me was laughing, too. He said, “Yeah, who would have guessed it? Obama is gay.” I think that 10 or 20 years ago, the guy in front of me wouldn’t have been laughing, he would’ve been looking stern and saying, “Oh, you think homosexuality is funny, do you?” But in 2010, the guy in front of me was laughing. Holland is shifting. Holland is becoming more progressive.

A couple months ago, several of us visited a Buddhist temple, one of two Buddhist temples in the Holland area. Who would have thought that there would be two Buddhist temples in the Holland area? I hear tell that there’s even an Interfaith Congregation that meets in a theater in the Holland area. Holland is shifting. Holland is becoming more progressive.

I mentioned Jeremy Scahill. When he came to town, as you may know, we reserved a theater here at the Holland 7 that seats 175 people. He filled that theater and an overflow theater, because 322 people came here to hear Jeremy Scahill. Now some of those folks came from Chicago and Ann Arbor and Traverse City, but I think most of those people came from Holland and the Holland area. Holland is shifting. Holland is becoming more progressive.

A survey was released a couple months ago that said Holland is the second happiest city in the country. Now I know some people found that amusing, but I think it’s great. And I think maybe one of the reasons people are happy in Holland is because Holland is shifting, Holland is becoming more progressive.

Now, will the city council of Holland pass an ordinance banning discrimination of people because of sexual orientation or gender identity in housing, employment and education? I don’t know. Time will tell. I’ve been asked by a group called “Holland Is Ready” to meet with them and strategize about how to get such an ordinance passed. And, of course, I’ll be happy to do that. The group “Holland Is Ready” is another indication that Holland is shifting, Holland is becoming more progressive.

My apologies if this Talk has sounded pretty political. But I felt I should talk about Erik Prince’s enemies list and calling people like me, and maybe some of you, noisy leftists. Whether you consider yourself a noisy leftist or a mumbling moderate or a quiet conservative, that’s fine with me. I’ll love you no matter what. (And I hope the reverse is true.)

I was reading a book the other day and I came across a quote by a Spanish philosopher, Ibn Arabi. Ibn Arabi says, “Love alone is my religion.” I like that. “Love alone is my religion.” Let us not worship MSNBC or the Fox News Channel, let us make love alone our religion. Let us not worship the Democratic Party or the Republican Party, let us make love alone our religion. Let us not worship President Obama or Rush Limbaugh, let us make love alone our religion. If we do that, if we make love alone our religion, then Holland and Michigan and America and the World will all be the better for it.